This is a guest-written article by Farnoosh from Prolific Living.
A Personal Story – And The Question
The other day I finally gathered enough courage to do it. I sent an email to my college boyfriend of over a decade ago, and promptly asked for my copy of The Fountainhead back. He borrowed my copy never to return it. The copy of a book I had read in high school in the span of 2 weeks, a book that left me with an indelible impression, the book I had underlined, written in, and slept with and lost much sleep over. I wanted it back. And only that copy would do.
When my mom went on her recent trip back to our home country of Iran, I asked for the strangest souvenir. I wanted her to find any shred of my childhood, things we had left behind without knowing we shall not return to them. Anything tangible. Anything at all.
And when I lost the special emerald and diamond ring which my grandparents had purchased from their Japan trip in the 1950s, handed down to me from my Mom, I looked for it everywhere. For weeks, for months, for years, I looked in every inch of our old house and still held out hope. When we finally moved, I knew that I will never see that ring again. And today I can still feel myself ache for it.
So does all of this make me a materialistic person? Perhaps. But what of it? We hear so much about how materialism is a negative energy, and that life is fleeting, we should not hold on to things. In philosophy, in religion, in spirituality, and even in some self-improvement journeys, we are likely to hear the importance of detachment to a materialistic world.
There is merit in living free of all attachment to things but for most of us, if subscribed to that theory, we would either have to live outside of modern society or else we would be juggling guilt and pleasure while balancing life in a materialistic world.
Neither option is very appealing, and both are quite unnecessary.
I believe living with attachments in a materialistic world can bring us happiness and fulfillment, and it can serve us well if we have the right perspective, values, and intentions.
Attachments To Different Types Of Materialism
Not all material things are created equal, and not all people have similar likes, especially in a world of whirlwind commerce and merchandise. Our tastes and preferences greatly vary but that is immaterial (no pun intended!) to our happiness from material things. Perspective, values and intention are all that matter in creating either a constructive or destructive materialist reality around us, regardless of type!
With the right mindset, we can turn any materialism into a constructive means to achieve a better life for ourselves, our community and the society around us. Let’s explore 4 types of materialism:
All Things From Childhood Memories
I think most of us can appreciate tangibles from our childhood. Memories left in a box, in an attic or in my case, in a different country on the other side of the world! These items can have powerful effect on us. They can be therapeutic and restorative since they remind us of when we were pure innocence. We can let them bring us closer to our childhood, to our beginning, and remind us of the past, and of the miracle of time and growth. By the same token, over-accumulation of anything can lose sight of initial purpose. Those of us who hold on to absolutely everything over the course of our lives must find ways to let go, to be selective and to refuse to accumulate clutter in our houses or our minds.
All Things Mementos And Souvenirs
The things we collect over time in our travels and adventures through life can be quite attachable. I am usually nursing an unusual attachment to souvenirs from foreign lands, regardless of their perceived or actual value. My attachment to these items is by association. I simply associate travel memories to them and feel fulfilled to have brought a piece of the far away land back home with me. But sometimes, this can become obsessive. Purchasing a souvenir everywhere even if the available options go against my standards and likes does not serve me well. Souvenirs for the sake of souvenirs can never have that special appeal. It’s important to be true to ourselves and not forsake values for force of habit
All Things Brand Name
I have only recently allowed myself the luxury of some brand names. My main reason is the quality. But brand names are a complex psychology and quality alone is not always a sensible reason. In Japan, Gucci, Armani, Louis Vuitton and Chanel define a person’s status in society. To a slightly lesser degree, brand names speak volumes about one’s social status in Iran. In the workplace and for teenagers, brand names can carry a lot of peer pressure. Brand names can entice some of us to fall into compulsive buying behaviors but we can opt in for more grounded reasons instead. All my life, I had wanted to have my own Cartier ring. Aside from an established brand and service, for me, this ring represents a French line of jewelry that is eternal as Paris itself. It is a symbol of my financial security and I celebrated it with a Cartier. I am terribly attached to it. It is important to recognize what attracts us to the brands, to define the reason and the behavior and to then decide whether it is serving us or taking away from us. Are we searching in vain for some illusion of status in society of friends or strangers, or do we really and truly desire that top brand for our own use and reasons?
All Things Luxurious And Opulent
I happen to consider wealth a very good thing with the right perspective and intention. When society “blames” wealth as a downfall of celebrities, obscenely wealthy people, or those ‘lucky’ lottery winners, I shudder. Wealth has no will of its own. Wealth does not talk, walk or make decisions. People do. And it is people who fail or succeed. There is no one to blame but ourselves if our wealth brings us misery. Wealth is an instrument that can be used for good or not-so-good. We are the judge. If we are a grounded person, with firm values and a purpose and plan in our life, wealth can be the great enabler in our path. Luxury and opulence then, may they be our just reward. It is when wealth is sought for the sake of accumulation of wealth that misery usually arises. It is when there is no plan or purpose for the wealth that over-indulgence and over-consumption patterns emerge. People can do as they wish but the latter is usually destructive, and the former, often highly constructive. The choice lies within us.
Embracing The Material World In The Right Light
Materialism is a concept, and material things are just that – things. We are the ones attaching value, notions, ideals, status, illusions, and assumptions to them. Why not let them serve us instead?
Be it a luxury life, a Chanel bag, a simple memento from a friend long since departed, or an old beloved book, I want to challenge you to find reasons to embrace the material possessions of your life. Take pleasure and delight in the things that have a meaning to you, things that bring you joy, happiness, smiles, and at times, closer to your memories. Be grateful, be selective, be true to what you like, and practice balance in all things, even in the art of attachment to materialism.
Farnoosh started pursuing her passions only in the recent years where workaholism took a backseat and balance became a survival matter. She has a love for personal expression, writing, reading, traveling, Argentine tango, yoga and the art of public speaking, and explores these elements and more on her blog, Prolific Living. She is thrilled to be contributing here to the fabulous Timeless Information community and humbled with gratitude to Armen for the privilege.
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
Great guest post. Material things are part of living in this world. We need things like food and shelter for our physical self to survive. The things you describe in your opening paragraph are material things for our mental and spirtitual self. These items are physical representations of memories. One wouldn’t call someone “materialistic” for owning photographs of their memories, as such these items don’t represent “materialism” to me. You make a great point describing materialism in context.
You define the key, “Take pleasure and delight in the things that heave a meaning to you.” I feel that materialism covers items that have little personal meaning or maybe only have meaning for a short time. You summed it up nicely.
.-= Eric | Eden Journal´s last blog ..Nothin’s Gonna Change My World =-.
Twitter: eduardsays
March 17, 2010 at 5:53 am
I think it’s in our nature as human beings to be materialistic. He have instincts that tell us to acquire things which are not a real necessity and show off with them. Not all of this is bad and not all of this needs to be opposed. Some types of materialism can actually help us. I like the idea.
.-= Eduard @ People Skills Decoded´s last blog ..The smart things to do for charity =-.
Twitter: ryanbiddulph
March 17, 2010 at 8:20 am
Hi Farnoosh,
I feel that it’s important not to form an strong attachement to any material thing. Appreciate the fine things which you own. Enjoy them. But know they can come and go in moment.
I drive a nice car which I enjoy the heck out of. But an accident 4 years ago taught me how to live without it for 5 months. I appreciated it that much more when it was repaired, but it taught me a lesson about attachment to things.
As for childhood items I’ve never been much of a sentamentalist. I can appreciate pictures, relics, etc, but I don’t feel the need to hold onto them. Too many good things on the way to fill their place
Great insight.
.-= Ryan´s last blog ..What Are Your Thoughts On Cash Gifting? =-.
Awesome post!
I think these ideals probably appeal to most people out there. It’s definitely different from the philosophy of monks where materialistic things are an attachment to one’s ego, and one’s ego might not be necessary for peace and happiness. But everyone’s different and I really like your opinion here.
Materialistic things can make us happy and I don’t see why people would want to take that away from us. True happiness…? I’m not sure about that, but I do know that materialistic things can have meanings, memories, stories, or certain beliefs behind them that make us truly happy like your special emerald and diamond ring.
Thanks for sharing this. It was a great read Farnoosh!
.-= Hulbert´s last blog ..Sylvester Stallone and Hits =-.
What wonderful response and reaction, thank you all for indulging me in reading this post, and for all of your comments.
-Eric: Good distinction on memories and photographs not really making us materialistic. I think my point was that it becomes hard to draw the line on what is and isn’t materialism in today’s society. In literal translation, all those tangibles are materials but as you said, it is the meaning behind them that puts them in context for us.
-Eduard: You are right, it has become our nature and a way of life and society to acquire things – and I am so glad you agree that there is goodness to it. I think balance is key and it can vary for each of us.
-Ryan: Strong material attachments are probably best not to have in general, but alas, sometimes they just form. It is too bad about your car accident, but as you said, it made you realize you can do fine without your car. It’s pretty amazing how many things we can indeed do without – and perhaps that alone can raise our appreciation of these finer things we choose to live with.
-Hulbert: Nice to see you embrace materialism like I do – with balance and with the right perspective and attitude. I wanted to bring exactly the points you emphasize to surface and give materialism a better reputation. It gets such a bad rap
!
I really enjoyed the post! I hope this isn’t the only time?
I definitely agree that objects, in and of themselves, might have a very limited intrinsic value, but once they have had memories, experiences, emotions, and ideas attributed to them, they can take on an entire persona and value which was not present before. It is important to realize; though, that these personas, these values and ideas, or these composite emotions we project onto such objects are just that, projections. They exist with or without the object; however, the objects themselves simply act as a way for us, as corporeal entities, to feel a physical connection in addition to our intellectual and emotional one.
I think it’s interesting that certain objects have the power to remind us of such strong emotions, when those emotions do not come from the object, but rather come from inside oneself. To this end, one could argue that objects are irrelevant and that the internal motivations we have for feeling the way we do should be all that’s necessary; however, I suppose I’ll have to rely on our limited understanding of the brain and human psyche to end with the following.
I believe such objects are important, and possess intrinsic value, because they serve as triggers. For better or worse, our brain is hardwired to respond to external stimuli in a very specific, if not always understandable, way. Therefore, such objects are to be valued, not for any sort of sentimental or inherent commercial value, but rather for their ability to trigger that which we value inside of ourselves. Therefore, object or no object; trigger or no trigger, let us all endeavor to cultivate and maintain the best within ourselves so that when such items as a ring, photograph, music album, painting, or book trigger our inevitable avalanche of human response, it is the best possible response for us to experience.
Twitter: bretthimself
March 17, 2010 at 12:01 pm
I think this post is interesting. Not great, not bad, but simply thought-provoking. Which makes it really good.
My take on materialism is this: ultimately, we are can be as materialistic or anti-materialistic as possible. We, ultimately, can ascribe as little or as much meaning as we feel like to ANYTHING. If we decide that money, or material possessions – or even specific material possessions like a nice car or house – is the end all, be all to our existence, then we’re free to make those things have the most meaning in our life.
Ultimately, we choose what we value, and thus, give meaning to. If we give meaning to objects, that’s fine. If that results in an unhealthy pursuit of material possessions at any cost, that might be a problem. A person who ascribes ultimate meaning to love might also fall into an unhealthy cycle of getting into relationships to get their “love” fix. Ascribing too much meaning in one general area tends to make our lives unbalanced and leads to collapse.
What is the way with meaning and attachment? I think, to be honest, we should become as attached or unattached to things as much as we like, as long as we’re prepared to deal with the benefits and the drawbacks.
Nice guest post!
.-= Brett – DareToExpress.com´s last blog ..The Triumphant Return – Lessons Learned and DareToExpress 2.0 =-.
Great post…interesting topic. I don’t think enough people evaluate the kind of materialism they possess and why.
Love to see the dialogue continue. Thank you for your comments.
-Sina, thank you for sharing some very deep and philosophical thoughts. I had not examined it in such depth – and you are right. It is our “memories, experiences, emotions, and ideas” which give the objects in our life an identity and a value in some way. Put in that perspective, I like materialism even more – even if the connotation associated with that word is still negative. Great analysis.
-Brett, thank you for being so honest. Interesting post but not great. I can honestly say that my goal was to bring this issue to surface, and arouse different reactions which I seem to have accomplished. You are absolutely right in that we (and only we) decide how much or how little importance we assign to possessions – and my other point was that this is not necessarily bad – but it needs to be done in balance (which in itself is defined differently among people!)
-Ann, glad you enjoyed this. Just a self-analysis sometimes comes in handy!
Farnoosh,
A delightful and yet thought provoking post; thank you for sharing your thoughts. Whilst I agree with what you say, the paragraph, “All Things Luxurious And Opulent” really bought it altogether for me.
There is probably a great deal more than just materialism to consider but you’ve certainly captured the theme.
Regards
Paul
Interesting article and thought provoking.
I share your passion for appreciating fine things. There is a lot of dedication that goes into their creation. I think that is the point Ayn Rand makes in her books, that people with passion express their thought through creation, manifesting their thoughts in the real world.
Which is all great, but in the end the question comes down to how much value do you put in an object? What are you willing to sacrifice to get it? Do you see the object as an object, or is it a vessel that carries a part of you? When you loose a memento, do you just loose the object or do you loose the memory with it?
I think the danger in materialism is forming too close a bond to objects. So if you can live with the loss of your most precious possession then I don’t think its a problem.
.-= Martin´s last blog ..Clothing is a Part of Your Identity =-.
Nice post. I don’t write much about materialistic topics in my personal blog, although I have my fair share of fairly nice material things that I do enjoy. I think it is important to feel grateful for the luxuries we have in life as they have their place.
Also I like to add, It depends on each person some people like really nice expensive things and some people can live a little more simple. For me manifesting nice material things comes easily to me so I guess I don’t really put too much thought into it, but everyone has a unique perspective on the value of material items.
-Paul, I am delighted in return that you liked the post and I am glad I was able to articulate well enough in the “Luxury” section to connect with you. Thank you for the kind words and there is so much more to it, and I am just happy to have started quite a conversation!
-Martin, good question – How much are we willing to sacrifice to get something and how hard is it when we lose something? I used to be awful about beating myself up when I would lose things that I hardly even remember today. I really think balance in all things, including our obsessions to get something or get it back after we lose it, can make the most sense.
-Baker, I love my luxuries too. I know I can live without them because I did fine without them all my life, but all the more reason to enjoy them now as long as I don’t forget the real important stuff, which is naturally beyond materialistic things in this world.
Twitter: Armen
March 18, 2010 at 8:20 pm
Hi Farnoosh.
I would like to thank you here publicly for this article, as well as the ongoing discussion. It is a pleasure.
I like the way you approached materialism here. I have some material possessions that currently matter to me a bit, like some books and items, but mostly only because I have had them for a long while. Other than that, I am not too tied to material possessions, which is pretty good.
I know what you are saying about the writing you put into a book. If I had a book that I wrote all over, and someone else had it, I would certainly want it back. I think I had a book once like that, but I didn’t loan it out. I had written so much in it.
The part about maintaining some items for childhood memories makes sense. I have a small set of things I have kept, and frankly, I forgot about most of what I didn’t keep some record from. We might have one piece of paper that is the only reminder of some 3-month period when we were 9 years old, or something like that. On the other hand, you are right about not needing boxes and boxes of records and items. If it is clutter that just keeps getting moved around, it should probably go.
I like that you actually pointed out some material interests, or brands you like such as Cartier. Some might try to cover up all of it, and say that any materialism is bad, but you stuck to real-world examples, and so readers can associate much better.
Attaching meaning to the items we have is an important point. We might have a paper notebook we have used over a few years, and which still has many pages, and can make that “the notebook”. We can turn it into where we put our most important messages or plans, and only use up pages when we feel it is appropriate. Then, it turns from a notebook to something of high value. This can be done with other possessions.
Fitting post, especially in 2010 or this general decade.
Make sure to check out Prolific Living if you haven’t yet folks.
(http://www.prolificliving.com/blog)
Really interesting thoughts here Farnoosh. I never really though of materialistic things in that fashion. I feel that most of the luxury things are unnecessary no matter what. It is great to treat yourself, but I say do it bc you like it and not because of the name. I fall victim to this too and I want a Rolex watch.
Nice job — good read!
.-= Alex´s last blog ..The Virtue of Obsession =-.
yes its all about balance Armen, materialism itself is not but it all depends upon the things that we are attached to and the extent of the attachment, thanks for the post:)
-Armen, the gratitude is right back at you. The guest writing is one of the most enjoyable experiences of blogging, mostly because I get to meet fabulous people such as yourself.
I think this article brings out our unique approach to materialism, and I have thoroughly enjoyed the conversation. The readers in this space are tenacious, thought-provoking and meticulous! Thank you for sharing your thoughts here on the subject too, and in such great detail.
-Alex, agreed – Necessity isn’t central at all to our approach to materialism. Human beings can survive with far less than what we have today as a standard of living. And Las Vegas has a great Rolex store but ask me if I have dared step into it? (No!
)
-Farouk, balance is the quintessential word for it all. Thank you for the emphasis!
You are right to some extend. We need a house, a car, ect… Our culture tells us that it’s good to acquire things like material possession and fame, so there’s nothing wrong with desiring and pursuing them. We don’t see how much of our lives are eaten up in a vain pursuit of things we think will make us happy. And when we acquire those things, we don’t stay happy for long before we start chasing something else.
And how much of our lives are eaten up with anxiety over the things we think we have to have to make us happy? Worrying about something you’ve lost is attachment. Disappointment is attachment. What we think will make us happy can also make us miserable.
Hi Alex, I think I quite agree with everything you are saying so maybe I am right all the way
! Indeed, worry over accumulation of materials is no way to live a life. It’s a great thing we have choices…..thanks for your comment!
Farnoosh´s last [type] ..The Spirit of Bali wrapped in 9 Gems of Advice