If you aren’t currently in a state of powerful activity, unless you are in a period of relaxation, you might want to ask yourself why. You have the opportunity right now to do something that jump-starts your day. This could be contacting someone you are afraid to contact, setting a public goal that you are worried you can successfully reach, or taking a financial risk. If you are in a passive state, or any sort of state that represents a slight amount of boredom, I would say there is a problem in place, but at the same time, there is no problem at all. You can turn it around in one minute.
Excuses/Reasons And The Questions That Negate Them
When I tell you about taking a risk, setting a goal, or contacting a person you are afraid to contact, there is certainly a person, goal, or risk that comes to your mind. We all have certain items we put off because we:
- are not ready yet
- are not at the right position to take the risk
- don’t have the block of time for it to occur
- would look out of place
- have failed in that category before
- don’t know the right people
- don’t have the right qualifications
These are all thoughts we have based on fear. Here are questions that cancel out each of these causes of fear:
- When will you be ready? Will you be ready tomorrow, next week, or in 20 years?
- When will you be at the right position? Are you on a quick path to where you will be there?
- When are you going to schedule that block in? Do you even plan to?
- When will you fit in with others who aren’t taking a risk, when you are taking a risk?
- How long will you let a past failure limit your current day?
- How do you think you are going to meet the right people?
- Do you think it is really your qualifications that is holding you back?
Speak More Earnestly To Assist In Reducing Fear
If you catch yourself in a situation where you even think about telling someone else that you are bored or not doing great, instead tell them that you are afraid. This might not be as appealing, or seem as commonplace, but at least you will be telling them the truth. Tell them you are afraid to take action or the next step on something you want to be doing. Tell them you are holding yourself back from action, and will regret it later. This will help you realize your problem sooner, as you won’t be covering it up with an excuse or perfunctory phrase, and the other person might want to help you work through the issue as well.
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi there, that’s a good post. I firmly believe that you need to take action avery day to move towards your goals – and if you do, you will almost certainly get there. I’ll be back to check out your blog again soon, Brian
Brian: Hello to you, and thanks. That sounds right about continual progression. Fear tends to cut it off at a certain point, so it is the fear that has to be dealt with, and not so much the process. Thanks for the support, and I will communicate with you.
We really need to face our fears and move on in achieving our goals. And the first step is to admit taht we are afraid.
Chris: Thanks for your input. Your comment made me think for a second there. If I told you one of my fears, would it be enough? I think it would be enough to cause a reduction in worry. Telling more people would add to that effect, but I’d say the returns would be diminishing after the first or second person.
Thanks! I needed this article.
Debbie: Thanks for that. It might seem like a small bit, but it is meaningful to hear that.
You pointed out the power of self talk. I’m a big fan of self talk and questioning about goals.
p.s Your blog is very useful.
Oscar
Oscar: I hadn’t looked at it in a self-talk perspective, but that is certainly a part of the response to take on, as you start to tell yourself the real reason why you aren’t doing something. Checking the reason a goal has been postponed helps prevent other goals from being postponed for the same reason.
Thanks for your input and positive message.
Hey Armen, I think it’s an interesting way to look at it, that being bored means being fearful. I agree that being bored is just a symptom of something else, but I’m not too sure if fearful is the reason all the time (other reasons might be genuine apathy towards life, lack of awareness of the possibilities). But that aside, I think it’s very powerful to replace feeling bored with a statement of being afraid – this statement has a very powerful call to action. I’ll bear this in mind for my own coaching too in the future.
Celes: That makes sense about other reasons also being the case. From the Ecotherapy book I have been reading, there is one essay in it where a therapist talks about how client apathy toward life is sometimes caused by a feeling that the environment is dwindling as time progresses, leaving them feeling that their efforts are futile.
I like how you saw it as a call-to-action, as those are becoming more valuable with shorter attention spans being ubiquitous.
You can conquer almost any fear if you only make up your mind to do so.For remember, fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in your mind.