Random picture of colored pencils that doesn't connect with the post in any way

Hi folks. I’m good at things when I limit the time I have for them.  I have allotted 5 minutes for this post.  What will it be about?  I will decide quickly.  It will be about taking things slowly and preparing.

As you go through your day, you can go through it in a bumbling rush or in a smooth and slow fashion.  The smooth and slow fashion requires preparation and focus, but everyone will notice that you are controlling the world instead of letting the world control you.  You can’t go through the day in a calm and smooth fashion unless your mind is constantly on what you need to be doing, or else you are just delaying and not doing things in a smooth and slow fashion.

You know those people in expensive cars driving the speed limit on the freeway?  They are having a relaxed time because their days go by smoothly and decisively.  When you do that, you can afford to do things slowly while someone who is confused in their life has to drive by that person going 75 miles per hour.

If you want to have a day like the cool person’s day, you have to prepare the night before.  Then, you have to get up on time and get started.  You have to eat enough and stay on task.  Then, you have to not be afraid of messing up.  These are all needed to have a smooth day.  Weak people can’t have a smooth day.

Okay, my 5 minutes for this post is up.  I will now include some links to some articles from others.

Farnoosh’s latest post is episode #16 of her Daily Interaction podcast series, and it is about opening conversations with style.  This is important to work on because your early impression reflects how the whole conversation will go.

Gail tells us why we need to be great students.  You have to stay a student in this competitive world.  When you stop, opportunities fly out the door.

Celes recently changed the site over to the new name of Personal Excellence.  This is a solid switch and better encompasses her message, so that is nifty.

Mike posted a bunch of ways to be realistic.  When you are realistic, you get results, and when you are idealistic, you get nothing.  One of his tips is to ask more questions and I agree completely.  People have the answers you need so you have to get them out of them.

The Flickr photo at the top is from here.

If you are one of those people who is working towards a relatively large goal, or sub-goal of a larger goal, there is at least one person out there who wants you to fail.  They probably won’t say it directly to you, but they wish you would fall apart and quit your efforts.  It is for this person that you must continue what you are doing.

There is entertainment to be found in this concept.

This article was written by Jami de la Cruz, who writes for Personal Trainers.

If you really want to make a difference in your community, there are several ways you can do so. That way you will know what is going on, and if there are any issues, perhaps you can come up with a solution.

1. Volunteer

The opportunities to volunteer in your community can be varied. For example, you can volunteer to help at your house of worship, the community library, or at hospitals or nursing homes located in or near your community. All of these places need volunteers, and some of them rely very heavily on them to “take up the slack” when necessary.

For example, you can offer your services at your house of worship by helping seal, stamp, and address weekly or monthly mailings. You can also volunteer to assist at funeral luncheons or other functions held during the week.

http://www.whyguides.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/volunteer_shirt.jpg

The community library will welcome volunteers to re-stock shelves, assist patrons, and perform other duties. The hospitals and nursing homes will enjoy having someone to come in and assist with delivering mail or other items to patients, assisting with activities, or just keeping someone company.

Does your community have a neighborhood watch program? If not, and there have been incidences of break-ins, vandalism, or other criminal activities, why not organize one? The police department or sheriff’s department that serves your community will help you get one started.

2. Join a Board or Commission

Many communities have their own boards or commissions that work separately from or with local municipal and county ones. These can include beautification boards, library boards, and others. Vacancies may occur each year as a member’s term of service ends. When it gets close to time for terms to end, you can submit your application or letter of intent to fill the vacancy.

3. Support Your Schools

Join the PTA or PTSO, even if you don’t have children in school. Volunteer in the media center or in a teacher’s classroom. Offer to tutor or give additional help to students before or after school. Most degree programs need people to support their specialized tutoring, like in mathematics and design.

4. Vote on Issues That Directly Affect Your Community

Many times, tax issues or other ones may affect an entire municipality or even county or parish. When this is the case, it’s for sure your community will be affected in some way. Make sure to be well informed on the issue and vote. If you are against a particular issue or if you strongly support the issue, then consider volunteering to inform others about the issue and persuade them to also vote.

5. Support Your Community by Shopping at Local Businesses

Many communities have small business establishments that provide products or services. Unless it is absolutely necessary to go somewhere else, use those businesses first, especially family-owned or independent stores. Oftentimes the prices are comparable if not slightly cheaper than larger ones, anyway, so. Even if they’re higher, you may find the service there much more personalized, making it worth paying more.

CONCLUSION

These are only five ways you can support your community. There should be other opportunities available. Contact your community leaders, houses of worship, and others for ideas about giving back to that area you call home.

What is action mode?  It is where your brain is in a state where it is ready to do critical thinking for a substantial period of time.  How can you get to this state if you aren’t getting there currently?  That is what this post is about.  Following these steps should take you from where you are as point zero to being a pioneer in some category in a short period of time.

1. Disconnect From The Internet

It could be this simple for some of you.  Staying connected to the internet and your computer or portable device may be the reason you can’t focus.  There are so many distractions and items to keep up with, including messages, e-mails, news, weather, software updates, music, and so on.  For some of you, these are fine, and for others, these distractions are rendering you unproductive on a regular basis.  If you sense this, get away from your computing device at times.  Disconnecting the internet may not be enough(even though it is the title of this subsection).

Related link about disconnection

2. Do Puzzles That Fit You

What you may need is to do puzzles of a certain type.  Whether it be sudoku, word searches, logic puzzles, number games, cryptograms, crosswords, or very specific puzzles that you know of like solving the next move in a chess game, you could greatly benefit from finding a puzzle set you can enjoy and use regularly to activate your brain.  A long time ago, I really liked word search puzzles.  I would do loads and loads of them.  I had a subscription to a word-search book series called Find-A-Word where I would get a new book of 100 or so word searches each month.

You can’t lose with puzzles because they are much better than most time-passing activities that you do since they get your brain rolling with thoughts.  You can write things you think of down while doing the puzzles on the side of them, and then the pages they are on get filled with puzzle answers and puzzle steps you took, as well as thoughts you had for outside the puzzles.  Maybe this will help one of you like it has me.

3. Sleep On Time Or Enough

If you are one of those folks that can’t get going during the day because you didn’t sleep enough, because you either got distracted during the late night period or didn’t set a specific time to sleep, this point is for you.  You will not reach that peak state of productivity until you get enough sleep on a regular basis.  Getting enough sleep is all about what you do at nighttime.  If you squander your time at night, your next day will not be as you hope it to be, and it will be out of your control(until the next evening).

4. Think About How Limited Your Time Is

This one can get you going if you need a boost of energy.  When you think for a minute about how little time you have to accomplish what you want, it is likely to jump-start you into thinking through your options, leading to taking action.  Sometimes we are thinking that we have a year to do a certain item when we really only have a month to do that specific item before some change takes place that makes it much more difficult or out-of-reach.

Critical thinking is one of those very important skills.  If you are not doing it at times, that is no good, because your mind is not being activated to a high enough level to tire it out a bit.  It’s like not working out a muscle in a long time, as it will start to be weak for regular activities.  Activating your mind at times will keep you “in the game” so to speak, if you aren’t already.

Do You Push Yourself Mentally?

This type of effort-based thinking requires much more energy than simply responding to an issue or problem with quick words.  It is “level-2″ thinking, so to speak.  I would start with some examples here, but my message is more about doing critical thinking every day or two if you are not already doing so.  How can you assess if you already are doing this?  Do you actually get mentally tired trying to figure out the ramifications of a deal, or the reasons behind both sides of a policy, or so on?  Do you do a little research on the side to find out information related to something, or just take words given to you as the main source?

Use Societal Or Personal Issues To Do This

My mind keeps wanting to stray off the main topic here, but what I want to convey is that doing heavy thinking is good for you at times.  You see an issue like a political one, and you can look at the “two sides” that are provided to you by each side of the political debate, or you can spend a bit longer to see whether those are really the only two options, or if you have any new ideas related to the concept, as well as if you can see the reason behind the whole conflict, and items of this nature.

Switch To Your Hard Mode Sometimes

It is like you are playing a chess game and analyzing other possible moves, and other ways you could have played the game before the point you are at.  When you set a computer to Easy level in chess, it does “simple thinking”, in comparison to us, as it only looks at the closest moves and the simplest attacks.  When you set the computer to Hard mode, it suddenly is analyzing multiple moves ahead, different variations of attacks, how to take a position, or so on.  The Hard setting certainly uses up more CPU clock cycles, but it gains a huge advantage by doing so.  We are different from computers in that if we don’t use Hard mode sometimes, our brain gets comfortable sticking to Easy mode, and then Hard mode is a more difficult option later on.  You have to keep your Hard mode running smoothly.  It is like changing the oil in your car to keep it able to accelerate and switch gears smoothly.

Activating Your Brain Requires Conquering Friction Each Time

One item to add here is that doing critical thinking does not come naturally.  It takes effort every time.  It might get easier over time, but for the most part, it requires your diligence each time you make use of it.  It is like going to fourth gear in a car, which requires having been at first, and then switching to second, third, and then fourth.  This takes much more work than staying in first gear(from the transmission’s perspective).

There Are Many Items To Use For Critical Thinking

How can you work on this critical thinking if you are not doing it regularly?  There are multiple paths you can take.  You can take a political policy apart and analyze all the sides of the issue, and maybe come up with your own sides, or you can take a problem in your own life and create a whole page about reasons for why it occurred, different paths that could have been taken, different ways out of the issue, reasons for why you are or are not taking one path or another, and material of this type.  Another way is to do some type of logic puzzle that will get your brain working on possibilities and options, crossing out those that don’t work.  By searching, I just found a cool site that generates logic puzzles as you get there, so go here if you want to do one: Logic Puzzles

You Want To Feel Some Difficulty

I was going to include a sample logic puzzle at the end of this article, but after finding that site, there is no need for that.  I changed the title of this piece a couple of times, but it is mainly about activating your mind at times if you are not already doing so.  Some of you will think to yourself that you push your mind to the limit at times to solve issues, and some of you will be thinking that you barely use the high-level thinking that your mind can do.  I know I can tell when I have used my mind to high capacity because I can only do it for so long before it gets tough to continue.  This is one sign that you are doing it correctly.  I don’t know if I would recommend continuing at that point, but that is up to you.

Mind As A Muscle

Since the brain is like a muscle in how it builds neural connections, and in how connections are only made strong depending how often they are used, this high-level thinking should be done regularly, somewhat like as if you were working out your abs.  “While the underlying mechanisms are different, neuroplasticity research suggests that challenging learning experiences can lead to the development of brain tissue analogous to the way physical exercise can lead to the development of muscle tissue.” (Research paper on neuroplasticity)

A Completed Logic Puzzle

I went ahead and did one of those logic puzzles so that I’m not just saying, but am doing/showing.  Solving one provides a good feeling.  Here is my solution grid for this randomly provided puzzle(I didn’t include the clues or description):

To those who decide to do a logic puzzle, feel free to report back on how you did.

There is something to be said for those who have a backbone. They respond to you, not out of fear, but out of whatever their mind feels is appropriate. They stand by their beliefs or mindset because they know that others around them may come and go, but they will always have their own views and personality.

You Need To Stand Tall To Make A Shift

Maybe the chicken came before the egg, but as far as making a shift in your routine, having a strong and resilient mindset precludes any sort of alteration-making. Your backbone, or willpower, has to be stronger than the resistance that you will meet when you make the shift. If it is not, it is not even worth trying to make the shift, because then you will have another failure in your mind. Trying things is good, but trying without a basis for success is not, because our mind does keep track of our errors, and we don’t feel so good when they start to accumulate.

It Isn’t About Others

When we think of resistance, we think of people that will affect our plan. While people certainly can have an effect on us being able to make a shift in what we do, they are not as influential as we label them. To explain this, think about any time you really wanted to do something. Did it matter what anyone else thought or said? Probably not. You went ahead and did it, and then likely told others about it afterward or whenever. We do the things we aim to do, regardless of others, so make sure to not think of others much when thinking about what will hold you back from making a shift.

A Routine Can Be Like A Heavy Brick

So, now, the focus is back onto you. Where will resistance to a shift come from? One source would be your heavy routine. I say heavy to mean that it is heavily founded as your regular set of activities. I think it is safe to say that we are all in a routine that doesn’t change so much, and so we start to get used to many aspects of it, and become a little weak in response to items that haven’t been a part of it. You may not fit into this category, and if so, this is a positive thing. On the other hand, having a heavy routine doesn’t negate an ability to alter it.

Not Knowing If You Can Handle It

A thought that comes into your mind when you want to start doing something differently is “what will happen if…”, and you can fill in the ending there. If you always run at 8 o’clock at night, and want to start swimming at 6 in the morning, your mind starts to think about if you can handle it, if you will have enough energy, if you will lose your running form, whether you might injure yourself or not have enough stamina to do a reasonable swim, and so on. Often times, these questions come up when you didn’t have much willpower or determination anyway. While it is reasonable to think about health concerns and timing issues, we usually ponder these things a bit more when covering up our weakness to try something differently.

Entering The Political Debate Example

If you want to start voicing yourself politically to friends and colleagues, and you have not talked politically in public before, this is certainly a shift that requires a backbone. You will think about how you will be perceived, and if you have the determination and thoughtfulness to respond to criticisms of what you say. Politics is certainly a subject that will lead you to argumentative discussions, and you may wonder if you will be able to handle that. What you need to do is to assess whether you have the willpower for it now, or whether you need to develop in some way before you start voicing your political beliefs.

Concluding Note

A concept of importance here is that you can save a lot of effort, or reduce amount of failure, by making sure your inner strength is larger than resistance you can see yourself running into. This keeps you from trying that which you will quit on early, and gives you more vigor for the few changes you have the backbone and willpower for.

I remember that I had a friend a long time ago who played soccer on a team, and he would always invite me to come see him play. He was one of the best players on the team. I kept forgetting to go watch one of his games throughout that whole soccer season until what I think was one of the last regular games. He had invited me to watch as usual, and this time I went.

Up to that point, I hadn’t seen him play, so I knew he was somewhat of a soccer star on the team, but it was just a thought in my mind. I went to that game and watched from the sidelines. He did all kinds of cool moves. The big thing I remember was him doing a penalty kick some time in the second half. It went over the defensive wall of people and into the corner of the net.

Much Can Be Missed

Had I not decided that I wanted to go see that last regular season match, or not prioritized well, or done whatever which would result in missing the match, I never would have seen him play in person. I would just have had thoughts about him playing soccer, and that would have been all.

This reminded me of how much we can potentially miss out on. No one wants to find out they missed a special collaborative opportunity because they lost motivation to take part because of getting distracted while watching YouTube videos. Just like you have special times you look back on in your past, you have special times ready to be created any moment now.

Living Without Experiencing Is Sad Indeed

One quote that comes to mind here is from Shawn Carter, which is “I’m not afraid of dyin’, I’m afraid of not tryin’”. At first, most would think that option #1 from the quote would be worse than not trying. On the other hand, can you imagine not having some of those special times you have had? They are so key to who we are, but we have to remember that we tried in some way, in order to make them happen. Had we gotten distracted, not had punctuality, or focused on a short-term item instead, those special times would not be in our memories and experience set.

The pain of regret due to not trying is way worse than the pain of failure when trying, because regret involves a choice or chance that we had, while failure was much less in our hands. There is much more of an “I should have” in regret than in failure.

Reflect At Times

Once in a while, look back at some of your best memories.  Notice how they were created by effort, and would be a blank space in your mind if you and possibly others had not teamed up to form the events that led to them.  Picnics and concert gatherings and group camaraderie that we all look back on had to be initiated by someone, or else it would have been an empty space in our mental timeline of activities.

I have been at locations when there was a large event or festival going on, and have also been at the same locations when there was no planned event in place, and although the location is the same, all the energy and people and setup is not there.  The energy and people and setup is what we think of most when we think of a memory, as all locations are not that different.

Take Control of Your Life

More often than not our jobs are something that we endure; we live for our time off and dream of the future.  -The 50th Law (Robert Greene and 50 Cent)

Recently a lot of people at work were talking about winning the lottery because it had jack potted to a ridiculous amount. It started me thinking about people’s dreams and aspirations. Many people dream of a better life, and dream of winning the lottery so they can spend all their time lounging around and being on permanent vacation. Could the dream of winning the lottery be limiting them from creating their own future or success? The best dreams depend on you and your actions.  If you are not working at improving your situation, how can life improve? I imagine if your reading this you might be looking for inspiration. I believe life is 80% inspiration 20% hard work. Inspiration is the motivation for hard work, everything else is a distraction.
Where does inspiration come from?

Know Your Future

Every child grows up with a dream for their future. A child’s dream is built around everything important to the child.

We lose sight of our objectives and end up following some detour. This is the source of so many of the failures in our lives. -The 50th Law (Robert Greene and 50 Cent)

That dream you had as a child doesn’t disappear, it is worn away by life’s distractions.

Bad Stuff Happens, Dreams are Made

Dreams don’t just happen, a dream needs to be worked on. Dreams come true when the dreamer is willing to do the hard work. As hard as the work might be, it is a small price compared to the reward of making a dream come true. Reading Paulo Coelho’s ‘The Alchemist’ I learned life is a journey of transformation and every dream needs be worked on. Only those dedicated to their dreams are rewarded.

Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure. You’ve got to find the treasure, so that everything you have learned along the way can make sense.

The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho
With a strong heart  and by developing a true meaning of love we learn how to accept all the hardship in our life. Love is the deep meaning in our life that carries us forward.  All the while it is important to live in the present moment.  Remembering, what is done now decides the future.

A Clear Mind is a Disciplined Mind

Don’t just dream, turn the thoughts into action. Clear thinking plans the details necessary for making dreams come true and puts the plan into action.

From this knowledge, you shape the project itself, grounding it in reality rather than in airy concepts in your head. Operating this way helps you slow your mind down and develop patience for detailed work, an essential skill for mastering any craft.  -The 50th Law (Robert Greene and 50 Cent)

To think clearly requires discipline. Discipline gives the individual power to control one’s thoughts and actions. A disciplined mind is predictable. The mind isn’t in constant flux. You can have faith in yourself. The meaning in your life doesn’t change with the weather, but is a guiding star to plan your life by.

We are not engaged in the daily activity of the job with our full mental powers because it is not as exciting as life outside work. We develop less and less tolerance for dull moments and repetitive activity. -The 50th Law (Robert Greene and 50 Cent)

Discipline

There are two kinds of discipline, self discipline and enforced discipline:

• Enforced discipline puts a price on certain actions.  E.g If I don’t do this, something bad will happen.
• Self discipline sees the value of correct action. E.g If I do this, I will be rewarded.

The fearless types in history inevitably display in their lives a higher tolerance than most of us for repetitive, boring tasks. This allows them to excel in their field and master their craft. -The 50th Law (Robert Greene and 50 Cent)

Many people get trapped by planning their life around enforced discipline.

Plan Your Day

Clear thinking plans the details necessary for completing a goal, and is prepared for the future. Everything needs to happen at the right moment. Consistent effort. Un-realised dreams are the result of poor planning. Break it down, into bite size steps.

Remember: anything will give way to a sustained, persistent attack on your part. -The 50th Law (Robert Greene and 50 Cent)

Don’t let life pass you by. Be prepared. Everything doesn’t happen all at once.

You cannot persist on two or three paths, so avoid that temptation. -The 50th Law (Robert Greene and 50 Cent)

It isn’t meant to be easy. We want to achieve many things in life. Each achievement needs to happen at the right moment. Plan your day. Plan the details necessary for completing a goal (making a dream). Unfinished dreams are the result of poor planning.  Allow each moment to shine a light on what is important and needs to be done. Tasks that don’t get completed are

• not relevant.
• are too complicated and need to be broken down into action steps.
• out of date.
• rescheduled

Always remember sacrifice is the price of success.
Clear thinking programs your brain to focus on now. Programming your brain to execute what you learn.

Sweet Dreams

Your life is right here, right now. Your future is decided by what you choose to do. Society and the future of civilisation is in your hands.

Greatness consists not in the holding of some future office, but really consists in doing great deeds with little means and the accomplishment of vast purposes from the private ranks of life. To be great at all one must be great here, now, in Philadelphia. He who can give to this city better streets and better sidewalks, better schools and more colleges, more happiness and more civilisation, more of God, he will be great anywhere. -Acres of Diamonds (Russell H. Conwell)

This guest post was contributed by Martin from Cultivating the Mind, who writes articles which are fresh and intelligent, and which encourage thought that nurtures self-examination.  Check out his posts, as they send a solid message and have supporting evidence provided.

A big chunk of created value is about performing or releasing the next item.  For music-makers, the next thing is a new song or album.  For writers, the next thing is an article or book.  For an engineer, the next thing might be a new invention or new more efficient method of creating a product already in the marketplace.  For a doctor, it is about assisting the next patient.  Once you already have the abilities or expertise or base of supporters, your goal is mainly to perform or create the next item.

Katie Couric As An Interviewer

Take for example Katie Couric.  She is a journalist who has interviewed many well-known individuals.  She has build her reputation as an interviewer that stays calm and asks most of the questions people are looking to hear.  She has also been a TV anchor and done a fine job at that position.  At her current stage, she can create a large amount of “value” by doing the next interview, or reporting on the next event.  She has many viewers who are very interested in her interviews, as they may have watched them multiple times on YouTube or elsewhere, and they put her interviews a notch above those done by others.  For those folks, and even for the others who just want to see the person she is interviewing, there is a lot of value in her doing another one.

Some know Katie through her reputation, or saw a specific interview that they can’t forget.  Katie is just an example here, as there are other fine interviewers out there.  Each individual has their abilities and background that they can use to create value.  Value is about what you provide, whether it be the presence or care or love someone is looking for, or the expertise to solve a problem someone wants to have solved, or the new creation that someone yearns for to purchase and use for their efforts.

Donald Trump As A Deal-maker

Making deals is a way to create value, as the process of making a deal links up two people or companies that wouldn’t have linked up otherwise, or provides a benefit to two separate parties that would not have occurred by chance.  Donald Trump said he loves making deals.  When the US was having some issues a while back, he said that people needed to make deals to solve the issue, and that other countries were very interested in being dealt with.  For Mr. Trump, making the next deal in his business efforts is how value is best made.  He has expertise in dealing with people, being direct in what he wants, not taking no for an answer, not taking a deal that is below his level of desire, and so on.  For him, his time is best spent continuing to make these deals.

Others are also hoping he makes deals or offers to make deals with them.  As he is the go-to guy for that field of endeavors, people have him in their sights for the process.  They know his value and seek to absorb some of it.  In the same way, there are people who see the value you provide and want you to produce more so they can enjoy it and also build off of it for themselves.  The value you create can be like a foundation for the next person’s value.

Physicist Doing Research

A physicist who is an expert on electron spins adds a large amount of value through targeted research in this field.  There are very few people who have expertise in this area, and so by supply and demand principles, the physicist’s time is of very high value.  To try some new method of using electron spins to create more efficient solid-state devices, or testing out a different use for electron spin implementation, is what the scientist could later be most known for.  Expertise is a great thing, but it also means that most of your focus has to be on that area of expertise in order for it to be of much use.

Summary About Value

Value comes in many different forms, as you can see through these examples, and what you are skilled at, or what you have many folks interested in you for, or what you have the persistence to improve upon is what your value to people consists of.  Business says that value is only about where you can profit, and some ethical messages say that value is about where you give back to society, and if you merge these together, the value you create gives you profit and gives back to society.

I was reading a book called How Doctors Think, by Jerome Groupman, M.D., and it contains many examples of situations doctors face in dealing with patients.  I recorded information about one example because it linked to a bigger concept that we can all recognize.

An Actual Doctor-Patient Example

The example involved a Dr. Myron Fulchuk, who had a patient that came in and had been feeling indigestion and/or heartburn for several weeks.  The doctor bonded closely with the patient, and so he kept him on antacids and other medications, instead of giving him some more invasive tests to check for more serious problems.  When the patient later came back in a worse condition, it was found that he had gastric lymphoma, a treatable cancer, the whole time.  Dr. Falchuk was disappointed about his treatment and said “I just didn’t want to subject someone of this age, whom I liked so much, to the strain of the procedure.”

Showing Concern Has Tough Aspects

This example tells us that we show care most by saying and doing what needs to be said and heard, regardless of initial resistance or possible anger.  Real concern includes being able to handle the person you are trying to help not talking to you for a day or two, or acting stand-offish around you for a week.  You have to be ready for any tough responses, like a parent who has to be able to handle their child slamming their door, or acting in some other rebellious way.

This type of concern is reserved for helping those you really want to help.  Unless you are a person of big character, there are probably very few people you want to put out the energy to help in this way.

You Won’t Always Get An Instant Gold Star

Just like some scientists make discoveries that are not appreciated for years, and some artists have many paintings that are not so valuable until decades after they were created or the artist passed away, really helping others can have a delayed or negligible thankful response associated with it.  When you hit someone hard with the truth, they might avoid you for a period of time, or treat you differently, or any assortment of reactions.  The truth does hurt in the short term, but it helps in the long term, so you can always rest well knowing that you will either hear of the good later, or you will at least know that you were on the side of good.

See If It Is Worth It To You

Is it worth it to be good in this way?  This is a question you have to ask yourself.  If you really want to help someone else, there is sometimes a temporary price to pay for this support.  Maybe you want to bring someone’s health-related issue to light, and they have been trying to keep it not spoken about.  There will certainly be resistance in the process, but you might end up becoming the reason they quit smoking, or exercise regularly, or eat more vegetables, or so on.  This is true in other categories as well.  Maybe you see someone you care about building relationships with people who are a bad influence.  Not only will they resist your messages about their low-quality relationships, but the other people might find out and also resist.

Real help is usually hard, but it is either the hard way, or the path where you see someone you care about making errors that you know they can correct.  The latter path might actually be the harder one.

photo credit: DeaPeaJay