“The individual increasingly comes to know who he is through the stand he takes when he expresses his ideas, values, beliefs, and convictions, and through the declaration and ownership of his feelings.” – Clark Moustakas

While most people d0n’t always remember this, our most prized modern world possession is the freedom of speech. The right to express ourselves in any way possible. For instance, if we dislike the fact that a clothes department distributes attire made from animals, we have the ability to a peaceful protest outside of the establishment. It’s rights like these that make me happy to want to express myself.

Nevertheless, there are people who hold in their emotions instead of letting them out. Whether they are too insecure to express themselves or they just feel as if they shouldn’t, their emotions are kept inside, blocked from the outside world.

For those of you who do this, I understand where you’re coming from. I used to do this myself when I was a lot younger. It started when my family moved to the suburbs. I had to leave all of my old friends in the city and it was hard to let them go. Soon after, I attended a new school with new opportunities to make friends. However, for many years since the day I moved, I would never get over ‘being the new kid’ at school. It would not be until the end of my sophomore year in high school that I would embrace unleashing my emotion.

By this, I don’t mean that I snapped at every person who didn’t agree with me. I just felt more relaxed expressing my personal opinion to others.

Here’s some suggestions on how you can do the same:

Express yourself through a creative medium

Put in all the pent up anger, sadness, happiness, and frustration you’ve been feeling into a creative medium. Notice how I put ‘creative’ in front of medium. It’s because just any medium will not do. Don’t drown your sorrows in the boob tube or by eating tub after tub of ice cream. It only associates detrimental behavior to your emotions. You’ll have no choice but to act wrongly in order to actually feel comfortable expressing yourself. Try more productive activities: take up music, singing, acting, drawing, writing, or other paths of expression that require emotion to utilize.

Talk it out with someone

If you’re more of a people person, what better way to express yourself than through people? There are a number of people in your live whom you could talk with in order to get things off your chest. Friends and family are the first group of individuals that you should try and communicate with. If you would like to keep emotional issues away from them, however, you can always contact professional support groups who should be more than willing to help you with your emotional troubles.

It’s understandable to want to shield your emotions from others. People use this method to protect themselves from being hurt. They think that if they open themselves up and be vulnerable, people will disrespect them for expressing their feelings.

Yes, people do take advantage of vulnerability, but by putting up a wall, you are effectively blocking off relationships that you could make. People become close because they express emotion and make themselves vulnerable to each other. Why do you think that during crises, individuals help each other out? It’s because they all share the same pain and live the same situations.

Limiting your expression on location depends on you

This was what I tended to do. I would freely express myself in one place, but act differently in other. For example, at home, I would be open to my family, happy, and smiling with my sisters. At school, however, I would turn into a completely different person: closed off, reserved, and not willing to share my feelings with nearly anyone. As you would suspect, many people thought I was a fake person or something was wrong with me. I don’t know about you, but I’m not an open book willing to be read by just anyone. I have to get a sense of trust from a person before I can open up to them. Others might disagree with me a say that it shouldn’t matter who you talk to. It depends on how comfortable you are expressing yourself in different places and on the level of trust you require to be open.

You must have the courage to own your feelings and be ready to take any criticism. So don’t bottle up your emotions – set them free.

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John Anyasor is a guest blogger for Timeless Information who writes for the HiLife2B: Blog on Personal Improvement for a Good Life. He gives advice on personal development, life lessons, college life tips, and more.

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photo credit: Etwood

Tagged as: discussion, emotions, expression