Don’t Let Yourself Get Pushed Over

This article is for those who tend to back down from getting something done out of a fear of making someone else feel uncomfortable, or a fear that you are pushing too hard against others, or worry that you will look out of place. This is the source of some of the biggest regrets.

To Counter This Harmful Process

What you need to do to get rid of these worries or fears is to balance them against the anguish/pain/anger you will feel if you don’t get the job done now. If you end up not going to an interview for a job because you are embarrassed about something the interviewer might find out about you, think about the consequences of avoidance. The next interviewer will be just as likely to find out the same information. If you are worried whether you will be ready for the interview, think if you will be more ready at a future time, or if more likely you won’t be any more ready later. Lastly, think about the anger you will feel if you don’t try and later look back from another job in disappoint for not trying. You have to envision your future self to weigh out decisions more accurately.

How Do Others Fit Into Your Reality?

Your focus needs to be on how others work with what you are doing, instead of how you can fit into the routine of others. Trying to please others in some minor way is seen as fake by you and them, and gets nothing accomplished other than making you look weak. People are on the same wavelength as you, so if you want to connect with them or ask them for something, they understand your position, and that they could have been, or may one day be, in your position. Steve Pavlina had a podcast where he talked about how our consciousness’ as people are connected, and you can certainly sense this when you stop ignoring the person-to-person associative thoughts you have. The first thoughts you have in relation to others, before you filter them to seem more appropriate or intelligent, are the ones you want to work with. Your filtered and skewed thoughts make for a lousy foundation to use to express what you need from others.

People Want You To Prosper

People, especially successful ones, have no interest in cutting off your abilities. They don’t want to see you get rejected by a school, job, business opportunity, etc. that you fit into. It doesn’t make sense. If you know someone who wants to be a chiropractor, whether you are a friend, the school admissions person, a professor, a competing student, or any other person who knows that person, there isn’t some intrinsic desire you have to keep them from their goal. In the same way, no one wants to hold you back from your actual goals. You might feel like you have to push and squeeze your way into the position you want, but from an external perspective, all you are doing is slowly easing into your desired state. Things go smoothly when you look at what you are doing from the view others have of what you are doing.

There Are Tests Of Your Desire

Society doesn’t want less doctors; it wants high-quality doctors. The associated admissions process, and schooling that follows, is meant to maintain that. There are many who don’t accept this concept, and from them you will hear comments pointing out that they were singled out, or that things are unfair. Alex Shalman often points out that the walls aren’t there to keep you out; they are there for those who have enough desire to cross them. Assuming victim status is a self-fulfilling prophecy, because you then do become a victim of your own weakness. Ignore any thoughts that taking an action will bother someone else, do it, and on the very rare occasion that you actually do bother someone or push beyond the limits of your competency, you will then have the decision to apologize or make a bold statement.

Tagged as: asking, confidence, pushover, request, weakness