Don’t Run From The Pain, Go Towards It

There are experiences you don’t take part in, people you don’t interact with, actions you don’t take, because of the pain you perceive to be involved with them.  You tell yourself it is too much to handle, cancel it, and then switch to another activity that you feel does not contain that level of pain.  The message provided in this discussion is to not make that switch.  Often, you make the switch quickly before even taking a minute to think about what you are doing.

Is There Even Anything Worth Avoiding?

Most of what you avoid comes down to the people involved.  You avoid a situation because the people that will be there will think negative things about you, or you will have to do things you think you aren’t prepared for, which comes back to looking back in front of others.  Here is a way to work through thoughts of worry related to others.  There are people that have good intent towards you, and you want to work with and be around them.  At the same time, there may be individuals that don’t have such a good intent toward you, so they shouldn’t be in your thoughts, as that would take up your thinking time.  It doesn’t mean that they are wrong, but that you won’t benefit from spend time with them or thinking about them.

Pain Means There Is Something There

When you are worried, or feel that a future experience will be painful, that means there is something good worth defending in the process.  Pain only comes from the possible loss of something good.  You don’t feel pain or worry about billions of things happening around the planet because you don’t have a certain connection with the people involved that provides you with a source of foundation and pleasure.  For those few people you know and connect with, there is something great there, and so affecting that in some way is the source of pain.

Thus, running from pain in any way is akin to running from the essence of what you actually desire.  You will always regret running from something you perceive to be as painful, because in hindsight months later, the pain or pressure that would have showed up will seem to be so small you will wonder why you avoided it.

Avoid A Cycle Of Avoidance

If you run from pain in one situation, it is likely you will run from it in another, and another, closing up opportunity after opportunity.  The issue here is that you ran away from one large thing, so then the next one seems like it would be good to avoid as well, and then you are out of the loop, communication-wise.  Keep the communication and activity channels open regardless of the circumstances, and others will see that the outside world doesn’t control you, but that you have some control over your environment.

Tagged as: avoidance, connection, experiences, pain