Don’t Worry About Bothering Other People

You’ve got plans to become a well-known speaker/writer/music creator/businessperson/attorney/mentor/etc.  The process of becoming well-known goes much quicker if you don’t worry about bothering other people along the way.  The nice person finishes last because they keep letting others get in front of them, out of courtesy.  Here I discuss some of the concepts of offending that can be done along the way, and how it isn’t really offending:

Although each business environment is competition-based regardless of how others describe it as a team effort, you would do well to label it in your mind as cooperative.  Cooperation can be thought of as an advanced type of competition.  Then, you can cooperate your way to the position you would like to acquire, instead of competing your way up to it.  It is a useful mental re-framing.

Everyone Has To Push A Bit

Back to the point about bothering others on the way to your stable position, you have to realize that each other person has to “bother” others enough on their own way.  In fact, to reduce it down to the source, if you feel that you are bothering others, it shows a lack of self-esteem.  You have an imprint to make on your environment, and simply because you’re not some other person doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make as large of an imprint.  If you get the feeling that you should hold back because you are pushing too hard competitively, think about someone else that pushes even more without hesitation.  Suddenly, what you felt was “out of line” or “too much” becomes a competitive necessity if you want to continue.

The concept behind this message is more relevant for those who hesitate due to not wanting to look out of place or too bold.  Since that is a hefty majority of individuals, because boldness is not common in any form, the worry of being labeled as too energetic or too confident is a thought process many go through.

Your Vigor Maintains Your Position

One way to correct this is to see that you only get to maintain as much as your confidence and energy supports.  If you are in a certain business or competitive position, and don’t show confidence and energy to match it, the position will be taken from you.  It is not because you are not adequate, but because requirements have to be met.  A music producer that starts to decline in output will lose their hype, which will lead to comments that they have slowed down or passed their peak, leading to the producer starting to feel weak about their position, possibly leading to further reduced output.

Your Efforts Are Just As Valuable

When you worry about offending person A or person B, you’re indirectly saying that person A or person B is more relevant than you as a person in society.  Limiting your actions based on them serves to reduce your self-image, increase your image of their value, and thus decrease your motivation to compete against them because they are now even higher on your totem pole.  On a related note, some members of your competition are glad when they see you holding back out of fear, because that keeps you from competing at their level.  It is similar to racing on a race track and seeing one of the other racers start driving in circles in one area – you then don’t worry about them finishing the race before you.

It is good to think about the kind of competition that everyone wants to see.  The audience in soccer matches loves it when a player tricks a defender.  At that moment, a huge stadium of people are all supporting the fact that the offensive player showcased their skills regardless of how foolish the defender would come out looking.  You want to continue to seek the “special moves”, and the only way to do that is to keep trying one method or another without worry about offending people on your own journey.

Tagged as: bothering, Competition, position, self-esteem, value