People answer the questions you have all day long, without you even having to ask them. When you are thinking “is this habit of mine involving biting my nails socially appropriate?”, you can see the reactions people give you and get your answer there. When you are thinking “was this business decision the right one to make?”, all you need to do is look at the response and effect on profit to answer the question.
A key point about this is to not ignore the obvious signals that are tossed right in front of your face. It doesn’t make sense to be nervous or procrastinate to ask others for feedback or their opinion when it is highly likely that the feedback is already being clearly presented to you non-verbally or indirectly.
Before you start asking about where you are going wrong, think about the feedback you are ignoring:
- The way people look at you
- The way your product has been received
- How you are treated when you express one external personality versus another
- The time it takes people to respond to your emails
- Whether you or the people you are talking to usually end conversations first
There are loads of examples of responses you get that you can use to make changes without having to resort to asking. This is not to say that asking is inherently bad, but oftentimes asking doesn’t help your case when you and the other person both know you could have figured out the answer with a little thought. It can sometimes alert others to a lack of pro-activity on your part. Lastly, people love to see you make the changes that benefit how you are perceived and received without them having to bring them up directly, as it represents an unspoken bond.