This post is for those who feel they are behind their peers academically, socially, socioeconomically, or so on. I’ve got good news for you. This feeling of being behind means you still have a driving force to catch up to where you feel you should be. You are the main person who feels you are behind. Other people are not as focused on your relative position as they are on their own efforts.
See The Positive In Your Discontent
Understand that there are others that quit when in a similar position to where you are right now, and others that quit before they even got to where you are. This is not to take away from them, but to point out to you that it is a good idea to avoid thinking you are in a terrible position. At the same time, your discontent means that you see the light on the other side, and still have a mindset of improvement or achievement. This is something to be thankful for.
You Catch Up Very Soon
In categories or aspects where you feel behind, you will catch up sooner than you can imagine. I’ve never seen anyone who honestly felt behind remain that way for that long. Our mind uses that energy to propel us to catch up by keeping us on task, or making unfocused activities seem dull in comparison to the important goal you have in mind. When you feel behind, you cut off celebrations or fun meetings until you catch up, because it is tough to enjoy in the presence of others when you know you will go back to your state of discontent and they will go back to being up to par. These changes tend to happen naturally and quickly, and they are defensive responses that do provide some benefits in catching up. On the other hand, it is vital to not get too distanced from others, as that can affect your attitude or focus.
Your Attitude Won’t Let You Give Up
Speaking about completing one specific goal, what is the difference between a person who gives up on the goal and a rock at the beach? Both didn’t get to completion, although the rock didn’t have any intent, and is also an inanimate object. If you feel that you are behind, you are indirectly saying that you are willing to do what it takes to catch up to where you feel you should be. When faced with a feeling of disappointment or lack of achievement, you either A) give up or B) feel pressure for the work you need to put in, so feeling that pressure means you didn’t choose to give up. It means you have assembled your mental resources to tackle the goal.
Focus Only On Where You Feel You Should Be
Although your peers can have an effect on if you feel behind, the majority of your efforts should be to catch up to your own ideal or position of desire. Getting yourself caught up trying to match up to some one’s vision of where you should be would be like reading a book with no ending, since their vision could change at any time, and you wouldn’t be in control of it. When you’re sleeping, you’re the only one dreaming, and when you perform hundreds of activities and thinking thousands of thoughts during the day, they consist of YOU doing them, and not another person who is either trying to control your efforts, or who you unwittingly allow to control your efforts. You are the only person who has traveled through all your past experiences, and are the only person who will travel through all your future experiences.
When you look back from the future, you will view this current time and appreciate your successful mindset and positive energy for working with what you had.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I can’t help but applaud this post. We who aren’t at the top of every totem pole (myself included) need as much unconditional acceptance as we can get. With your permission I would like to add one more positive thing. Each of us, regardless of who we are or what we do in life can’t be worth less than anyone else. Take me for example. I’m probably middle of the brainpower pack and about as “middle class” as you could get. No jet-setting for me or gold bars under my bed. I don’t command large armies or speak to millions via T.V. Even so, I know for sure I’m as rich as the biggest king and have real self-esteem that can’t be taken away. Same holds for every single soul, because a very special Law of Nature makes it so. I’d like to add that to the other good news and great advice offered here. John Duffield
John: Thank you for that applause and positive message. I feel you about the totem poles(myself included).
That is a great addition. I appreciate that type of thinking, because there are those in a position almost identical to how you describe, that will use those lines like “I have no choice”, “I have no control”, “things haven’t worked out”, and so on, which indirectly say they got the short end of the stick and don’t have as much as some others. Your point brings up the concept that we all are in control and have as much potential as others. I’d rather be around one appreciative person versus five people that talk like they are victims of life any day.
Thanks for that.
By developing a positive mind, you can catch up in no time. But it has to be an inner desire to reach the pinnacle. You have to set goals and make sure you achieve them. Don’t allow negative thinking to ruin your life, but control your thought each and every day, my shifting your vibrations from negative to positive.
Jonathan: That is a valid point. It really does have to be an inner desire. Catching up for others is ridiculously difficult because the motivation isn’t there. Becoming an accountant because you once told someone you wanted to become an accountant, but then lost interest in it after finding out more details about the job, would be like jumping over a ten-foot wall.
On an unrelated note, there is no shortage of John’s reading this site.
Thanks for your thoughts.