There are a thousands things you don’t know right now. There are people out there that already know them. Some of them even reach out to teach you these things. You can maintain your ego, that tells you that if you let someone else teach you something, that they are better than you. You can defend your ego until the day you realize it is worth nothing to do so.
Gordon Ramsay Pushed His Ego Aside
The chef Gordon Ramsay once went to a Chinese restaurant in London to go through a day of cooking in their kitchen making dim sum with chefs who had done it for ten or twenty years(video here). He could have let his ego tell him he would have looked like a neophyte next to people experienced in their material, since he mainly cooked Western style, but he ignored that, took a grilling from the Chinese chefs, and came out more skilled, humbled, and showing of strength to his American/European audience.
My Running Example
I normally run fast for a bit, and then walk, and then run faster for a distance, and then walk, repeatedly until I am fully warmed up, and then I run really fast for long distances, and then walk for bits. I recently ran with my friend, who was on a cross country team in high school. Although I know that some run continuously without stopping, until I ran with him and was able to directly see and compare his running style with mine, the difference would not have been as poignant. Sometimes words don’t sink in until you see someone’s actions right next to your own. Running continuously longer is now another option in my running plans. You learn most when you open up to others, which is much easier than learning from hardship for not haven’t listened to others all along.
Your Critics Help You The Most
Your critics aren’t there to tear you down, or they would lose their audience, which would leave them unable to criticize. They are pointing out things that are obviously wrong to them, but that you might not see. They give you insight into the minds of others that don’t process exactly the same way you do. That information that is provided by criticism is what can take you from a mediocre success rate to a heightened success rate.
Gary Doesn’t Let Ego Hold Him Back
Gary Vaynerchuk has a new book about following your passion coming out called Crush It. The “It” in the title might as well be “Your Ego” because that is what you need to release or not get tied to. Gary doesn’t care that he might not be at the research level of some scientist or as erudite about spinal injuries as a chiropractor, because he tossed that unhelpful portion of his ego aside and pursues the building of his wine-critiquing and selling career. So many of us get held back by ourselves, don’t take action due to ourselves, and later look back confusingly at ourselves, seeing that the only thing holding us back was ourselves. It is a cycle that we tend to regret participating in. On the other hand, if you quiet your ego, and let other people provide you with guidance and knowledge, doors open up that are closed to the vast majority of individuals that remain in that unlocked room of inaction, pretending they are locked in. On a related note, the more I toss aside my ego, the quicker this site’s subscriber levels grow.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
A wise man knows that he does not know all. So he seeks the keep learning and listens to all. This is why listening is such a powerful tool to have. Also it is great to be open minded. A close minded person can only get so far because he or she is holding on to old beliefs. Make the transition from a bench warmer to a player and listen to what the coach is saying.
Jonathan: This is true. Making that transition involves understanding what a player does as compared with a bench-warmer, and choosing to be on the pro-active end. It starts in the mind and ends up on the competitive field.
Great advice. I think you are right that it really is about being able to open ourselves to others and recognizing and appreciating the value of learning about their insights and experiences. If we are open minded to the fact that we may not have all the answers, we can put ourselves in a much better position to succeed.
Sibyl: Thanks for that. Success sure is about going for answers from others that we haven’t acquired on our own. Some have referred to it as pro-actively creating feedback loops, and feedback is what any of us could use more of. We do something wrong 100 times before we see someone else doing it a different way and realizing our inefficiency or confusion. It is better to look clumsy sooner than later, in the process of improving.
I love critics. They sometimes help (like you say they do), sometimes they don’t. If you are capable of pulling out individual ideas out of the criticisms, you will do well.
Either way, one should let go of their ego. Accept it when wrong and strive to learn and change.
Hey Teejay.
I can’t say I love them during their criticisms, but tend to realize later that they helped me – if not for their criticism, for energizing me to show them what I can do.
You are right about the ego though. When the ego goes into the recycle bin, good production comes out. We are on the same page there.
Thanks for your thoughts.