Rejection is the least of your worries. Well, at least it should be. People who are in a path they desire and fit into aren’t rejected, unless it is to provide them with a sign to take a bigger leap. The people you see in the public, out and about, or often as a topic of discussion, are not likely to be ones who are worried about rejection. You could pinpoint whether you or another person is being held back by fear of rejection based on how much they are interacting with others. The fear holds action back, so the people who are most affected by fear of rejection are the ones we hear the least about.
Rejection’s not so bad, and frankly, neither is failure
In this headline quote from a section of The Flow: 40 Days to Total Life Transformation, Tara introduces the idea that rejection is not negative or relevant enough to spend time on it. She points out that we will think of questions like “What if I fail?” or “What if I do the wrong thing?”, which leads to risk avoidance. These fears are to be tossed out. You might want to spend a minute to actually answer them. You will quickly see that the answers leave you much more calm, since the effects are not able to be that bad, or it wouldn’t have been worth even thinking about taking the risk in the first place.
I would also add that you want to get rejected in any capacity sooner than later. Having a rejection of your business proposal, assignment idea, or product that you are trying to sell on eBay would be better this week than if the same rejection happened a few months down the road, since you would have gained months where you could tweak your release method or product.
One Of The Biggest Changes You Can Make
Make your rejections public. One of the most powerful ways of removing worry about rejection, and showing others that you haven’t let it affect you, is to publicize your rejections. Time and time again you will see the most successful people touting their errors. This isn’t a random occurrence.
When you succeed, let others see your success without you having to point it out. When you fail or get rejected by another person for a business deal or opportunity, let others know about your rejection or error. This will get it off of your mind so you can focus on your next move. Also, it lets everyone know you don’t have any intent of hiding the rejection, meaning that it didn’t affect you. Others then start to see the rejections as steps in your success process.
Example From Glen Allsopp
Yesterday on his Twitter page, Glen Allsopp from PluginID said:
This week I have literally had rejection after rejection after rejection (writing wise). You just have to keep going till something sticks
People who are worried about looking bad, or the negative consequences of their rejection, or how the world will view them after a rejection will not post a message like this. The simple act of posting it removes any of the public societal worry that would come with it, which is the vast majority of the worry related to rejection. By posting in this way, Glen serves to keep even the smallest rejection from holding him back, by instantly releasing it and focusing on the next item.
If not for worry about how the general public views us, rejection would be a 2-second process every time. Long ago when people were in small groups and were more worried about getting food than being socially acceptable, rejection was likely a non-issue in the way it is today. You can act the same way by replacing worry about getting food with worry about continuing the progress on your goal. Treat it like if you spend time away from it, while worrying about rejection or problems, your goal will fade away.
Example From Alex Shalman
Alex Shalman from AlexShalman.com has made his goal of getting into dental school public. He has explained his current academic situation and his interests as well. This is a very positive thing that very few people would be bold enough to do. In doing this, he removed any social worries about his predicament or rejection from the school. He pointed out that if it did not work out the current time, he would be ready to apply again next year, which makes it that much more likely that it will work out for him this year.
His pointing out of this goal helps in many ways, including keeping him accountable for his academic plan, providing readers with a sense of his journey that lets them know what is on his mind, and reaching readers or friends of readers that would assist with his dental goals. When you don’t point out your goals, people can’t help you like they might want to. You are the only person who can release the contents of your mind.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Twitter: alexshalman
June 7, 2009 at 6:51 am
Sweet article Armen, and lol you used a funny picture of me =)
I really like the article helped a lot keep it up. May all be blessed
Alex: Thanks for that, and the tenacity you show is certainly something to put up on a stage for people to absorb if possible. I sure thought of that picture quickly when thinking of a fitting image, as I had seen it posted on your Twitpic before.
Twitter: alexshalman
June 7, 2009 at 9:32 am
One of my first friends and mentors in the personal development world always says “If I throw enough shit at the wall, some of it is bound to stick.” By putting it out there, I hope that some of it will resonate with some people, as you say
That is a solid concept to work off of. Toss ideas out there and check for their adhesive effects, continuing with the ones that work. You might call that concept “The Evolution Of Ideas”. That reminds me of the book “Made To Stick”.
It is easy to see that your material resonates with many.