It is often the case that one item also represents something else that is taking place. This is true in the case of sadness and anger, as they are connected emotions, but sadness is more about healing and anger is more about forcefully correcting the issue. Another connection is present between a feeling of jealousy and a level of laziness. If/when you are jealous of someone, you envy their position, and the resources they may have. This doesn’t benefit you or society in any way, and is a result of laziness on your part to take action.
Imagine If The Person Wasn’t There
If the person you are jealous of wasn’t there, you wouldn’t automatically be ready to take their spot. You probably can’t actually take their spot in any form that resembles their form. It would go against your nature to fill a person’s position by acting as they were, because every day would be destructive to your ego. As tends to be recommended, you don’t want to focus on the person, but on the position. When you have what it takes to move on to the next step or position, you will get there. There isn’t anyone holding you back from that position by force. Often, the steps to get there are provided to you in easy-to-read lists. If you are ignoring the steps that have been documented or told to you on how to get to the next step, becoming jealous is a way to cover up for your own laziness and inaction.
Don’t Blame Others For Your Own Lack Of Effort
“If John wasn’t the head treasurer of the company, I would be head treasurer.” Unless you are next in line for such a position, which is not often the case when jealous lines are uttered, the issue is not about John at all. Using you in this hypothetical example, you have plenty of opportunity to showcase your treasurer-like skills. Managing small amounts of money for the company or announcing that you would head a fundraising campaign steps that actually show you want to be in the official position. Saying “I want X” many times won’t bring X closer to you, if it is not followed up with an action. I have never seen someone held back from a position, as long as they had the required competence, drive, boldness to make regular effort towards it, and sociable nature.
Watch For Jealousy Of People That Are Actually Benefiting You
It is often the case that people you are jealous of are actually making your days better. The jealousy in this sense is a pseudo-frustration as you actually are glad for their presence. They tend to provide a foundation for you to work from, something to build off of, or motivation to work on your own material. While you may be jealous of them, you would rather be jealous and have them remain in their position than have them in some unknown location with your jealousy removed.
Avoid The Lowest Common Denominator Effect
Jealousy is easy to cancel out because it is a zero-sum path like an internecine conflict. If you are jealous of person A for putting effort out in one field, and person B for putting effort out in another field, it starts to lead down the path of being against anyone putting out any effort. This ties in to the scarcity mindset, like thinking that one person being in a position means that you can’t reach a similar level. On the other end of the spectrum, you can put out action-based effort and save your time, which would have been wasted away in jealousy, communicating with those in the positions you seek to obtain.
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Hey Armen.
I think one major roadblock is that many people aren’t willing to admit that they are jealous. Jealousy is so closely tied to the ego that the ego will protect itself by telling you that it is isn’t jealousy that you are feeling.
If you are able to overcome this step and recognize jealousy when you feel it, then maybe you should ask yourself why you are jealous. Maybe the person you are jealous of possesses something that you didn’t even realize that you wanted? When you are jealous, that would be a good time to reaffirm your wants, needs, and goals… both long term and short term, and then how you plan on achieving them.
Jealousy by itself is a very unhealthy emotion, so try to refocus that energy into something more healthy!
Hey Trey. It is good to see you.
It sure is tough to admit being jealous. It is sort of like admitting a mistake. We don’t see others admit their mistakes often, so we think it is the wrong thing to do, and that we will be ridiculed for it. I see defending the ego in that way as useless.
You bring up another valid point there. Suddenly it is like “oh he has X” when you never even wanted X before, but now that he has it, it is the desire. Lacking a foundation leads to those types of thoughts.
Thanks for your input.