I remember that I had a friend a long time ago who played soccer on a team, and he would always invite me to come see him play. He was one of the best players on the team. I kept forgetting to go watch one of his games throughout that whole soccer season until what I think was one of the last regular games. He had invited me to watch as usual, and this time I went.
Up to that point, I hadn’t seen him play, so I knew he was somewhat of a soccer star on the team, but it was just a thought in my mind. I went to that game and watched from the sidelines. He did all kinds of cool moves. The big thing I remember was him doing a penalty kick some time in the second half. It went over the defensive wall of people and into the corner of the net.
Much Can Be Missed
Had I not decided that I wanted to go see that last regular season match, or not prioritized well, or done whatever which would result in missing the match, I never would have seen him play in person. I would just have had thoughts about him playing soccer, and that would have been all.
This reminded me of how much we can potentially miss out on. No one wants to find out they missed a special collaborative opportunity because they lost motivation to take part because of getting distracted while watching YouTube videos. Just like you have special times you look back on in your past, you have special times ready to be created any moment now.
Living Without Experiencing Is Sad Indeed
One quote that comes to mind here is from Shawn Carter, which is “I’m not afraid of dyin’, I’m afraid of not tryin’”. At first, most would think that option #1 from the quote would be worse than not trying. On the other hand, can you imagine not having some of those special times you have had? They are so key to who we are, but we have to remember that we tried in some way, in order to make them happen. Had we gotten distracted, not had punctuality, or focused on a short-term item instead, those special times would not be in our memories and experience set.
The pain of regret due to not trying is way worse than the pain of failure when trying, because regret involves a choice or chance that we had, while failure was much less in our hands. There is much more of an “I should have” in regret than in failure.
Reflect At Times
Once in a while, look back at some of your best memories. Notice how they were created by effort, and would be a blank space in your mind if you and possibly others had not teamed up to form the events that led to them. Picnics and concert gatherings and group camaraderie that we all look back on had to be initiated by someone, or else it would have been an empty space in our mental timeline of activities.
I have been at locations when there was a large event or festival going on, and have also been at the same locations when there was no planned event in place, and although the location is the same, all the energy and people and setup is not there. The energy and people and setup is what we think of most when we think of a memory, as all locations are not that different.
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
Twitter: eduardsays
August 16, 2010 at 12:09 pm
Armen, this post reminds me of something called savoring. It’s a term used in Positive Psychology to define the process of opening up your senses to absorb and to experience a certain moment as vividly as possible. I think in a way, this is what you’re talking about.
Twitter: Armen
August 16, 2010 at 2:34 pm
Hi Eduard.
Well, this sure does relate to this topic. It is a side point that relates to the main point I presented here. When we have those great times, we should savor them as they are, and then to link back to the main message of this article, we have to remember that we fully made them happen. Big events and gatherings happen because someone put mind to matter/paper and got the activity in motion. Staples Center is empty when there isn’t a planned event, and many wouldn’t want to sit there when it was empty. It is cool for those great times in it.
It so true, Armen. Often it is the small efforts we make that provide lasting memories and great experiences. Habits have the power to waste and destroy by keeping us from experiencing new things. When we value spontaneity we open ourselves up to unexpected and memorable experiences.
Twitter: Armen
August 16, 2010 at 2:38 pm
Hi Rob.
Spontaneity sure is a big deal. Covering it up covers up all these cool things we could put into place. We can’t let go of it.
That part you said about habits makes sense, although there are some people who have a habit of setting up something out of the ordinary almost every day. These people are not common though.
If a person in a city set up a citywide meeting of people from that city, it could be the talk of the town, but it takes that person setting it up for it to happen.
nice post – you only live once and if you don’t try, then you have never really lived.
Twitter: Armen
August 17, 2010 at 12:43 pm
Hi Katie.
You put this in a fine way. A life without those attempts and creations is like being a rock. I don’t want to be a rock. I am pretty sure most wouldn’t want to be either.
Armen: What a great post and a great memory you shared. You are so right that it is important to do what we can to create great experiences. We really do have to put forth effort and make certain we are really taking advantage of all that is being offered to us every moment to experience. I think the point you made about always trying is an important one as well and definitely a pointer for us all in the right direction. You really do have to be open to trying things and experiencing things, otherwise, you can miss out on some really great opportunities. Thanks for all the great insights.
Twitter: Armen
August 18, 2010 at 8:22 am
Hi Sibyl.
If I don’t create a great experience, the only one who misses out on it is me(and maybe the people who would have been involved). If I see that there is a hiking group event set up by someone on Meetup.com and I go join it, I get to do something that would have been a wonder in my mind if I hadn’t.
My friend sure made that soccer game memorable. I thought I was just going to see part of a generic game, but that wasn’t the case.
Amen Armen! We are at the heart of things being the architect, builder and creator. What’s special is special because we bring it to life and add our energy to it. Super post with a brilliant title!!
John Sherry´s last [type] ..Is It Time For Your True Calling
Twitter: Armen
August 20, 2010 at 10:38 am
Hi John.
We are the architect. When I remember this, I create great things, and when I forget this, I give up my power to do so.
Thanks about the title.
I have noticed that successful people are aware of their achievements. While their a many people who struggle with motivation because they don’t take joy in their past success.
It makes sense, people who push themselves harder see the fruits of their effort, while those who struggle to get up in the morning don’t recognise their past success.
Martin´s last [type] ..Advertising
Twitter: Armen
September 1, 2010 at 1:59 pm
Hi Martin.
Cool to hear of here. I have noticed that I get energized when I think of past achievements, so that fits in line with what you are saying. We can’t forget when we have been pro-active, and that leads us to be more pro-active.
Recognition is one of those many items that seems like it wouldn’t have an impact until you try it and see.