Only show up where you want to succeed, and don’t show up where success isn’t relevant to you.
is the quote I created and posted on Twitter, and the positive reaction I got signaled that I should discuss it further. The quote comes from of this quote by Woody Allen:
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Mine takes it a little further, saying that you succeed where you spend your time, and fail where you don’t. I will give some details here.
You Learn Automatically
There are two parts to this that come to mind. One is that you learn from mistakes in what you do, where you are, so you can’t learn good chess tactics if you aren’t playing chess matches, or how to best repair cuts on the skin if you aren’t in a clinic dealing with those issues, or so on. Having a mind that is thinking you are doing X, when you are actually doing Y, will not get you better at doing X.
People Watch Where You Spend Your Time
Another issue is that people won’t take you seriously if you later want to switch into doing something you haven’t been putting time into. They will question your interests if you say you will be doing something you have not put time into, which is quite fair as that time is a real representation of where your interests lie.
Are You Skilled At Something Useless?
The other side to this concept is that you need to look at if you are succeeding where you don’t want to succeed. This is a bit disappointing at first, but it can lead you away from spending time where it doesn’t suit you. If you are becoming an expert at car racing games, but don’t want that to represent who you are when others talk to you, you are going to need to not be on car racing games. This is true for knowing a lot about certain TV shows, or knowing about celebrities, as becoming an expert in these fields isn’t what you want others to know you for.
Weigh The Options
If you spend 3 hours a day playing with yo-yos, you will end up getting real good with yo-yos. On the other hand, that same amount of time spent each day memorizing vocabulary would soon put you in the top 10% of people, as far as vocabulary knowledge. Yo-yo skills are very niche, and not as in demand, while a strong vocabulary makes all your communications smoother.
Verbalize Your Skills To See If You Are Proud Of Them
If you see that you are doing something often, tell yourself “I will soon be an expert in” whatever it is that you are doing often. See if this is appealing to you. At times, it will be, and at other times, it will be disturbing to see what you are becoming an expert in, when there are other things you’d rather see yourself as an expert in.
You’re Going To Succeed Somewhere
I don’t want to become an expert in celebrity gossip, YouTube comments, or 15th century art, so I would keep an eye out for if I was becoming an expert at any of those items. I recommend doing the same. You are going to succeed in some field, so it is good to fine-tune what your area of expertise is before it is fine-tuned for you.
{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }
Thanks for this superb post Armen. Comes at a right time for me. Someone has said it right..only Focus & Attention matters to a true Karma yogi.
Hi Devendra.
I’m all about timing. I indirectly felt that you might like it at this time. Nope, I’m joking there.
Thanks for the support though. Focus and attention makes us bold and courageous and all the other good traits we want.
Great post Armen. It’s true that we always do something, so we must be skilled at doing it, even if it’s watching television
Hey Oscar.
This is true. Very few people will actually be proud to tell people they know a lot about certain TV shows, or TV show times, but we have way more people than that who are experts in these things. We only have so much we can be an expert at, due to time.
Hey Armen,
It’s been awhile since I’ve visited your blog. Where do I pay the fine?
It’s good to be an expert in one niche than a jack of all trades in an online business. You need to be able solve the problems of your customers better than anyone else.
Hey Gordie.
Oh you are paying for that bigtime. I will call the fine-maker and see what the charge is for your absence time.
Good call about doing one thing better than others. That seems to get businesses going real quickly. It takes a strong mind to not assume to be the best at all things, and then to pick one to specialize in.
Good to see you.
Armen, this is one hell of an idea!
The way I see it, It means that designing your life is a crucial step towards personal development. Just make sure that you pick those things to do that allow you to grow in a direction you really want.
Eduard
Hey Eduard.
Cool way to put it there. Thanks about the idea. I guess after seeing how you saw it, I would say it is like we need to spend time for reflection. Our brains don’t use themselves until we start their processing cycles.
There’s no need to look back later disappointed about the direction we took when it is in our hands.
Twitter: bretthimself
November 27, 2009 at 12:37 pm
Great post, Armen. My only small quibble with your post is that you mention that people won’t take you seriously if you don’t allocate your time correctly or don’t pursue your interests. Being the independent-minded guy I am, I can’t help but think that we should spend less time worrying about people. Put it this way: if other people are the reason for you doing something, you shouldn’t be doing it at all. Do what you want.
My only question is: where did the video posts go? I miss ‘em, and you’re good at them. Bring ‘em back!
Hey Brett.
Thanks for that. This is true about not needing to worry about others. I think I was leaning a bit more towards how, for example, people will not support a person as much when they say they want to become a politician, but haven’t done anything toward that field as of yet.
Good call about the video posts, and thanks for the reminder, as this message of yours is part of the reason my next video will be up within the weekend(already made it).
This has been a message to Brett, himself.
One of the things I learned from Stephen Covey is that “the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.”
It really is so important to be aware of “what we’re getting good at”
Insightful article, Armen !
Hi Rocky.
Keeping the main thing the main thing is the hardest thing to do. As soon as we have a main thing, everything else becomes an appealing distraction. This is the battle of the ages.
Good call about what we are getting good at, and thanks for that.
Armen,
Great thoughts – and something really good for me to think about. Am I succeeding at where I really want to succeed? Hmmm…much to think about (and much appreciated).
Hey Lance.
Thanks there. I get the feeling that you are succeeding in various areas you want to succeed in, which leads to Lance happiness, AKA Lappiness.
Armen,
You typified with your post an often misinterpreted verse from the Bible, “Train a child in the way he should go. When he his old he will not depart from it”. Most believe this is an admotition raise children with stern discipline that will serve the child throughout life. It is really about acknowleging the uniqueness of each child. What a child may lean toward and finding a way to encourage and enhance their “bent”. Not trying to make them confirm to our own dreams. You did a great job! Keep those quotes coming. Years later we can say “As the famous blogger Armen said….”
Hi Vonzel.
Good call on pointing out that end of the process. This “nature versus nurture” argument has a lot to it. Part of both parts may be the case. A child can be encouraged toward a certain field, but forcing someone into something has failure written all over it. That is due to the “bent” you refer to there.
I will keep those quotes and such coming, thanks to your support. I’ll remember that line there when I’m on a stage in the future.
This is a great post, thanks!
I think the notion of being skilled at something useless is prevalent in our society today. Whenever we waste our time watching TV or even worse worrying about useless things in life we are in fact becoming more and more skilled in this area. As humans whatever we focus our attention on we will become good at. So if we sit around all day wondering how much our life sucks, then we will become very very good at this!
Mike
Hi Mike.
That’s a good call. “I’m skilled at wondering how much my life sucks” isn’t really an appealing line to say at a meeting or party. Then, instead of pointing out that reality, most will point out a small positive, and then go back to working on the useless skill.
This brings to mind that some become very skilled at deception, or acting/speaking defensively, or being engulfed by fear, or so on. We have to watch where our train appears to be heading.
A great perspective on the importance of using our time and effort wisely. It is definitely not enough to simply say we care about doing something- we must let our actions speak loudly and clearly.
Hi Amanda.
Valid point there. Saying we care about something, and not working on that something, isn’t fitting. These kind of falsehoods come out eventually, but we benefit more the earlier they do, counter-intuitive to what our fearful mind might think.
I’m in a situation where I’d like to go for my 3rd college degree but I also know I need to narrow down and focus instead of broadening. Decisions, decisions.
Hi Ken.
That one sure is a tough one. Yesterday someone asked me about what university he should attend when he had one an hour-long drive away, and a more prestigious one a two-hour long drive away. I leaned towards the further one, since he might regret not going to it later on, and the long drive would be a small forgotten thing.
For yours, it is a tough call again. The 3rd one could be the big one that you actually wanted, or it could be not too helpful in your endeavors. I have seen that narrowing down is the better choice in all cases except where that broadening was specifically chosen, and the value of it was calculated beforehand. Aside from choosing either side, the winner is the one who makes a decision.
Being still for a while and observing our self, we will somehow find our skills in one activity. However, it does not necessarily mean we should pursue it. We can develop our skills at some of the things we love to do.
This is an interesting observation.
Hi Walter.
This is true about self-reflection. We can see where we are building high-level ability or understanding. Your point there about being able to develop skills at what we like is right, but we have to make sure they are the things we like, and not things we have gotten into bad habits of, or things we use to cover up some problem. Thanks for these thoughts.
I especially appreciate the last point, Armen, too often we get caught up doing useless tasks that we don’t notice we become experts in them. Thank you for reminding me to watch myself closer.
Hey Lana.
We sure become experts in some hilarious fields to become experts in. I don’t want to be an expert at avoiding responsibility, or running away from pressure.
Thanks for this.
ARMEN YOU LEGEND!!
this won was dipped in glory. true story.
really really liked the bit about learning automatically. been trying to put that notion into words for ages.
so simple but so key.
tweeted+stumbled.
money money money. best post i’ve read all day in fact.
hope all’s well mate
alex – unleash reality
Hey Alex.
You might be the legend, sir. I like the energy you bring where you go. Thanks about that learning automatically section. I have noticed it as a common occurrence that we don’t mention, and you had noticed it as well.
Thanks for the spreading there, and that compliment. It makes me glad.
Armen,
This is a great post. I believe that once the individual focuses on the things that they excel at there is a greater chance of fulfillment in ones work. This is true in any field. It has to do with energy, the energy we put into something we know we are good at, results in more real and authentic rewards, because the energy comes from within.
Abundance,
Baker
Hey Baker.
This is a big deal. Working with the directed energy we have is a lot easier than channeling it into something we have no interest in. It can be a real struggle that way.
It is very difficult to do something you don’t want to do, and succeed in it.
Great post Armen.
It really ties in with David Deida’s ideas of being “on your purpose” doesn’t it? That you should be a force of focused energy knowing what it is you have to do before you die, and aiming to align everything you do congruently to that direction. Anything that dilutes that, like spreading ourselves too thinly is going to dilute our personal impact on others AND our own happiness too.
Hi Steve.
Thanks for that. I don’t think I had come across David Deida’s ideas before. Being on your purpose sure is worth it though, as life is shorter than we imagine, and then we end up not having followed our main thing, which can be disappointing.
Spreading ourselves thin is very easily done, and quite quickly regretted. It has short-term appeal, and low long-term value. I do it at times, and then realize it is happening, and try to cancel it soon after. We have to remember our potential impact before doing so.
Hi Armen,
Thanks; you have helped clarify a thought. I have been trying to focus my mind more, but frequently find myself distracted. Now I can see part of the problem, I spend too much time in areas that aren’t important to me, at the expense of what I do value.
Hey Martin.
We are on the same page. It is cool that I was able to help there. I still have areas I am succeeding in that don’t fit my areas of importance much, so I still have work to do in the aspect of this post. At least it reminds us to stay vigilant. Problems only get fixed after we have noticed them, and never before.
Armen, you Armen!
This post is pure awesomeness, I also have just recently realized something similar, but you emphasized and cleared things up very nicely for me.
Like Oscar said, we become skilled at what we do step-by-step, even if it’s just watching television. And what we are skilled at, it feels comfortable, so we should indeed take care not to become too skilled in watching television, because we will then feel too comfortable watching television and end up spending too much time that way.
Thanks for continuing your idea!
Zoli
Hey Zoli.
Thanks for that. It sure is about the step-by-step learning that we are doing right now, which we are building experience upon, whether we want to or not.
Some types of skills don’t care much weight in society, so it is good to keep watch of it we are acquiring any of those.
Good to hear from you sir.
Great post! Just made me realise that while I’ve had a blog for about a year, it is only in the last few weeks that I’ve began reading other people’s blogs. So now, I am getting a far greater understanding and appreciation of good blogs, or rather of the sort of blogs that I like and therefore would like mine to be.
Also, I spend 13 year of my life working for the government, which I hated – mainly because it did not represent who I was. And yet because I spent so much time in that job I had no time to find out who I really was! It’s only since I’ve had the “luxury” of being home with my children and separating from my husband that I’ve been “forced” to find out about the kind of person I am and want to be.
Thanks, Armen. Once again, you’ve hit the nail right on the head…
Hi Kate.
That is pretty hilarious. On the other hand, a lot of what we do is hilarious. We can be on one level for a long time before we switch to the next level, like with you reading the sites of others long after you started your own. We all do this in some way.
Nice deal on getting to be a bit more in tune with the self you see in your own mind. There’s no price that is worth missing out on that. Being forced into it might be tough, but I think you will manage.
Good to hear from you.